Its 2 in the morning, and I am re-reading our chats from way back to 2017, and I realize, THAT was our time mahn! 2017 through 2018! (I know I told you I’ll not re-read them, I stopped re-reading them, but today, I let myself, because I miss us)
You know we used to chat, every second we were free, every time we had, and we talked about many things, without disturbing our routines, or letting it disturb our studies.
Along the way, when I look back to those, I realized I lost you somewhere (I think; Idk where though).
Oh! How I wish, I could have that you back!! ❤
Do you know there was a time, when I was mildly low, and you wanted to sleep, and you asked me, “Can I get a genuine smile?” :)) you had asked me to smile, maybe just to brighten up my mood, but those petty things bring a smile on my face, even now.
Its nostalgic, but rather a much sweet nostalgia.
Do you know, from feb 2017, through feb 2018, we have approximately 400 pages of word document, in small fonts, saved as our chats? 400!!!! Four freakingggggg hundred!
Something changed between us, I don’t know if I am the reason/ my childishness/ its just the role of time, but I would want that you back! Every second of every time, I would pray to have that you back.
You have now, grown so distant, detached emotionally, totally.
I miss you. I miss Us.
Selfish much? Maybe.
You ARE still here, just not the way you were then. Something’s changed. Something broke? Some part of you detached from me.
This detachment of yours, un/knowingly is changing me too, detaching me emotionally, from everybody, including you. More like giving up on life, like not feeling a thing now. An empty feeling. A void.
Those feelings of smiling, grinning, and blushing while chatting with you, are wayyy greater than these dark, detaching feels that I carry around now.
Save yourself. Save Us.
Let’s make it to the end together, Souly.
As lively, as we previously were. Please.
I would give anything to see us that way again. Anything.
I still wait, patiently, for your return comrade. But I am starting to get tired, I wonder how long before you return.
Get back Captain! :’)
~Tarbuz
-Aahilic Aish.
Aahilic Aish 