Baba’s Princess

I miss you, today, and everyday.
I wish i could sleep in you arms, once again. Just lie by your side and forget all my worries, i wish you could give me that sweet head massage, that proud smile, letting me take all your money, as i look at you laughing out. I wish i could have your physical presence here. I wish i could just hug you, and forget about this cruel world that we live in.
Thanks for making me kind, compassionate, strong, understanding. A human basically. Thanks for encouraging me to take my own decisions, and for standing by it. Thanks for believing in me, and for making me believe in me.
Thanks for trusting me when the world doubted me, Thanks for having confidence in a girl that she can be better than boys, and thanks for raising me that way.
Thanks for giving me lessons to not judge people, and help people out when and where we can, thanks for making me understand the concept of giving happiness, and not just expecting it. In this world of pocket moneys, thanks for making me financially independent.
Thanks for being such a good person, thanks for letting me learn by seeing you actually do, and not just by saying. Thanks for loving me enough to set me free.
Thanks for setting the standard so high. Thanks for being an example of kindness, lessons, and an epitome of love.
4 years from an urdu calendar they say, and i still can’t believe it. 4 years!!!! Without you!!
People often complain i live in my own “world” these days. How can i show them that my imaginary world is so much better, with you. Around you.
Just dreaming of you, after a stressful day, relieves me, makes me smile, how can i tell people that you exist, and i am more happy there, with you, than here, with them?
You’ll forever be my King! My everything.

Forever, and ever,
Your “Princess”, as you called me.

-Aahilic Aish

Fearful Embrace…

You embrace me around. Tightly.
May be, in fear.
And there, i melt.
Suddenly, you push me,
More into your chest,
Close enough, to listen to your heart.
Like you are too afraid, you’ll lose me.

I experienced butterflies i never felt before.
It was all too silent.
I could clearly hear,
Our breaths struggling.
Time stood still, as i noticed.
Things new to me.
Only to realize,
i fell for you.

But me being me,
I am too afraid to tell you.
I doubt if i ever will.
I can’t lose you, just to the fact,
That i love you.
You are too precious to be lost. That way.

And so i bury this,
Somewhere deep in my chest.
It’s the weight i carry on me.
Every time i see you,
And fall for you.
All over again.
-Aahilic Aish

Secret keeper.

You know the parts of me,
that i hide from everybody else.
-Aahilic Aish.

Your Smile :)

You smile,

And my heart dances up,
My gaze freezes on you,
And i notice,
I have never really been happier than this moment,
Right here with you. Right now.

So tell me, will you smile,
And make the sun a lil jealous,
And light up my world,
With your smile?

-Aahilic Aish

Falling for a best friend..!

The best and the worst thing, is falling for your best friend.

When you for fall your best friend, you are not falling for just one person, you are basically falling for your guide, your counsellor, your critique, your advisor, your best person, some one who understands you probably more than your parents, or yourself for that matter. 

They know your weaknesses, strengths, crushes, relationships, their effects on you and how to manipulate them. They know what suits you, what you wish, and what you should be wearing, not just wearing, what and when you should be talking, and when you should avoid talking to people. 

They know when you need people around you, and when you’ll enjoy your loneliness, they have read you bone depth, layer upon layer; they have lived every moment with you, probably even the worst ideas you had, and the lamest thing you ever did.

They have been your silver lining around the dark clouds, they are your happy place for so long, you don’t even know what you would do if they decide to step away from you, even for a short while.

-Aahilic Aish

You’ll fall for every ounce of them, and no hatred can weigh down your love for them, they can’t stand seeing you cry, they are the waves that wash you to shores when you fear being drowned; they are the ray of light that pierces through the window, to reach and lighten up your dark phases; they are the rainbow after the stormy rains; they are misty drops of dew that blossoms beautiful flowers. They are colors that paints the canvas your life, into beautiful masterpiece of art. They are the shades that brighten your days; they are the magical spells, the miracles of your life.They are the shields that protects you.

But what really happens when they know what’s in your heart for them, what if they know you fell for them? How will they react? what if you lose them? the risk here is far more than the benefits of loving a best friend.

Because, when you fall for them, you are not really risking just one person, but risking all these things, and then there is a constant fear of losing them when they know your feelings for them.

One sentence can really turn your world upside down, and you might just lose the best person on the planet there is.

This thought, above, has saved many best friends, but alas,

the same thought has also killed many beautiful relations, before they were even born in this world.

So much for having a best friend…!!! 

-Aahilic Aish.

Let go!

To let go is sometimes the best thing to do.

It is okay to not deal with all the crap that people put you through;

It’s okay to ignore the egoistic minds, and selfish hearts!

It’s okay to give your heart, some time to heal.

It’s okay to forgive people, who never seek forgiveness.

It’s okay tk crush your ego, kill your hatred, and let the bud of love blossom!

It’s okay to let go, not for them, but for you!! That way, you open your heart for things that really matter to you, and you open your mind for thoughts that really deserve a place.

-Aahilic Aish

-Aahilic Aish

You can’t hunt down those who choose to stand back up!

It’s been a long time i chose not to fight my battles against you, thinking it was mutual, but i have my armour on now, and there is no turning back, this war is called for. It’s not just about winning or losing, it’s about who’s right, and i know you aren’t, ’cause i have never seen the courage in your eyes, the courage that the truth holds. You have always been one of those shoot from behind the bushes, and it’s time i hunt you all down, so i know my stand! It’s important for me you see, to look into the mirror and not be ashamed..

I know i won’t lose, ’cause no matter how many times you hit me, and you hit me hard, i’ll not back down

And,I don’t see how you can hunt me down, when i choose to stand up every time you shoot at me. Everytime, stronger than before.

-Aahilic Aish

Constricted Feelings…..

Those heartaches, night long cryings, staring absences, sulking in sadness all day, rolling in bed thinking of past happier times, staring through windows, that pinch when your friends talk about their love life, those “good morning sweetheart” messages, those late night chats, those blushing smiles, those flirty talks, those pretended angry moments, those feelings for people in my life…
I still feel them, but i dont want to cry over them anymore, i am hurt even now, but i am too afraid to tell anyone, i want to share my tangled thoughts but i fear I’ll be broken into millions of pieces again and again.
Now…. I meet my true self every night in my bed
Where i think about my life peacefully, a world where people don’t pretend, where people aren’t masked and two-faced.
They think am cold blooded, stone hearted and a feeling less person, but trust me, i feel everything, i still get hurt, i still go to sleep crying and wake up with a wet pillow, it’s just that i don’t feel this world to be of any help for me. I am better alone, no fake friends, no love betrayals, no hard feelings, no chameleon like changing people because
I want to “de”grow into a child again, where my heart is pure, my conscience clear, my fun loving brain, memory lanes declogged, no enemies, true love, no psychological brain plays, no masked people, that life without worries and hatred. And most of all, the truthfulness, selflessness, pure soul, compatibility, limited wishes, endless desires, that untouched love and an unshackled belief.
To get back my childhood days would always be my unfulfilled desire, because i have learnt through hard way that i need to move on and grow up to be mature enough to let go of stupid people who don’t deserve my attention, love, and trust. Now, i know crying won’t change anything, being tensed wont either.
I have built a place for self, where i don’t need to pretend or be formal. A place far away from fake people, fabricated feelings and fake smiles, a place which isn’t despicable and hideous.
A place where I can be me, where i don’t need to slip in another’s skin, And i am surprizingly happy here with true people who love me and care for me!
Its real time, you too……

-Aahilic Aish…