Life before it, was good!
As a family, we had fights, we loved each other, cared, spent time, life was imperfectly perfect.
And then, there came a day, she fell ill and had to be taken to a doctor!
After series of tests and scans, she was finally diagnosed with cancer…
Me being a 13 year old, was informed the last about her condition!
Actually, i learnt it only when she was taken to a cancer Institute for a thorough diagnosis, or a differential, i would say.
Even being 13, i felt it hard to explain it to my younger brother, what cancer actually was, so i understand how hard it might have been for my parents to inform me about that cancer stuff she had!
She was diagnosed with a ‘large malignant tumour, 4×6cm in size, metastatic in nature’
It was stage III cancer now, though she was diagnosed with it at stage I, she din’t really have time, ’cause she always kept her family before her, and her negligence led her to stage III…
Her husband took her cancer as lightly as he took her always, i remember him telling me, “Why does she has to waste money on expensive doctors and treatment, may be the lump is normal thing in beings”. It isn’t normal, how can he be so heartless?
She started seeing her oncologist from December after series of fights with her husband about it, finally agreeing that she will pay all the expenses herself!
She was ready to go under the knife only in February, after all her vitals were completely stabilized, her diabetes and blood pressure under control.
I loved her, but was not really close to her, until this, when i realized how she always was there, and we as children, never realized her worth! May be this was God’s way of making Me realize how much she actually meant in my life.
The date for her ‘Modified Radical mastectomy’ was decided now. It was 1st February.
She had to be admitted a week before, for all the scans and check Ups and to keep a tab on her vitals.
It was finally the 1st of February.
I was sad, sulking, depressed, but too shy to admit.
I dint break down, i had to be strong for my family, for her, i thought to my self.
As i was sitting holding her hand, i really din’t had any words to tell her, i loved her but still couldn’t describe how i felt.
And her oncologist came along and nodded a yes for surgery.
As she lay there, to be taken to the Operation theatre, i realized how much she meant to me, i leaned over her and took courage and said, “I love you, i really do, i am sorry that i always troubled you, i promise you, there will be a new you and a new me, when you walk out of that surgery”, to which she smiled.
She was taken inside, as i sat there looking out of the window, the grey sky, i realized something, though she did everything, she risked her life, my family din’t realize her worth.
I could be sure of it, as i could see no one flunking the lobby near the operation theatre.
How can people be so mean? I mean nobody came to see her off, to make her feel a bit better, when she was in a battlefield like that.
After long hours of surgery, i could finally see her, she was still unconscious. I was then taken to look at the lump that was killing her, ’cause i had requested that earlier.
It was kept in an isolation box, i was sterilized before and after seeing it, as a precautionary measure. There was blood all over, i saw it, (i actually cursed), it was a large lump.
I went back, sat, she was on drip, and a draining tube through her chest. She was weak, fragile, and when she asked about her husband and family, i had to lie, that they came and was there, through the surgery and went just now as the visiting hours were over, she was happy, i guess so!
The doctor came, checked her up and declared her NCF (No cancer found)
I thanked God for it, fed hungry people, did everything i could think of, as a 13 year old.. ’cause i wanted her to be fine.
They kept her in observation for the next week.
She asked about her husband again, i said she was in observation, and the doctors din’t allow visitors, so they sent ’em back. She smiled, so did i.
She was discharged and we got home!
Took her to regular chemotherapy radiations, this was to avoid any recurrence of the disease. She eventually lost her mane, which she could grow back later.
Losing hair and vomitings, were the most common complains of radiations and therapy.
I saw her health deteriorating, she couldn’t get off her bed, but her family wasn’t supportive, even now.
Her husband took her for granted, as always.
Her son, din’t value her still, he was mean, and din’t realize her sufferings, was still arrogant.
Years passed now, i am over 21years, i have completely fallen in love with her, i value her more than my life now!
She is still weak and fragile, but takes care of her family, still.
Her husband, is still taking her for granted….
Her children, still arrogant.
The only change cancer could bring, was in her (physically, mentally, socially), and in Me (emotionally).
The rest was all the same, before and after the cancer…. her husband, her sons, her work load…. That never changed….. and of course, her inner strength and courage.
-Aahilic Aish…..